Strutting can be exhausting

Although Old Blue is gone, I still have three Audis, and that means work.

I've taken this week and next off to do some vacation time.  We really haven't a clue how to do vacations here at casa del Toadroller.  Part of most people's reasoning for vacations is to get away from it all.  When we look at our lives, we're already away from it all, so... this time two weeks off is just a longer break than usual.

I had designs on a three-day motorcycle journey to see a college friend earlier this week, but my route would have taken me, by necessity and choice, through New Hampshire.  Trouble is that New Hampshire is celebrating Bike Week this week, and is overrun with tens of thousands of fellow motorcycling enthusiasts.  I severely doubt that a ride across the Kancamagus would have been the solo, introspective trip I wanted it to be.  So maybe towards the end of next week after all the birthdays are done.

Yep.  I'm turning fifty next Wednesday.  This has nothing to do with my penchant for fast cars and motorcycles.  Nothing at all.

Over the last year, I've been debating replacing the catalytic converters in the silver Audi, which we call the Fraudi, as it was originally acquired for Mrs. Toadroller.  I've done a long list of fixes small and large on the car, ranging from a replacement headlight switch to having the timing belt done.  All along the way, though, the engine code has been on for bad catalytic converters.  At 180-something thousand miles, I think we've gotten our fair distance from them.  But it's a big job.  Hard to get to nuts, lots of assemblies to disassemble, and lots of blind reaches with special (improvised in the field) tools and forum writeups and videos giving you almost but not quite enough information to go on.  I asked about for a price and was told a cost of catalytic converters alone that were more than the car was worth.  Further research showed I could get after-markets engineered for the exact model, engine, transmission, and enough evidence that others had success with them.  All for a price that was reasonable.

Then, in February, driving one of the Taller Toadrollers to driver's ed, the exhaust gave way where the center pipe meets the muffler and garowwwwwlll I had myself an open-pipe sports car.  So off in the corner it was parked, to be buried by ice and snow until I had enough room and time to take it on.  Come late March/early April we had our thaw and I moved it into the garage, with the thought that its taking of the Merc's primary parking spot would be incentive enough to git-er-dun.

Except one thing leads to another.  Yes, the mufflers needed to be replaced.  Yes, the mid pipe too.  And of course the cats, which start at the end of the manifold.  So that's everything.

Except one thing leads to another.  To get to some of the nuts that hold her exhaust system on, I needed to get the tie-rods removed from the steering.  Wouldn't you know that the through-bolt that holds the tie rod in place to the steering knuckle was frozen.  Couldn't heat, bang, parts-blast, or impact-gun that thing out.  I don't own an air hammer.  Yet.  Regardless, I was in there now, and as the steering rack has always been... inconsistent... with this car, I might as well get that done.  But to get that out I really needed to get the steering knuckle out of the way, and besides, one of the struts was leaking and they were original.  To get the strut assembly out, you only have to remove a 4 inch pinch bolt. 

Which led to... Meeting a guy that runs his own little machine shop on the other side of Augusta.  Does a lot of contract machining and engineering work but will, on occasion, do smaller jobs like drilling out frozen pinch bolts.  I did manage to get the struts out, but had to bring the steering knuckle and control arms with them.  Hardly standard operating procedure, but there was no way of getting that pinch bolt out.  So I brought them over.  He looked at them.  Said he'd just done the same control arm job for his daughter on a VW Passat, which is the same car as my Audi.  He was a true Mainer- strong opinions he'll explain, and he'll be teaching you what you're doing wrong along the way even if you weren't.  Not sure what it is about Maine, but I've run into this demeanor before and simply recognize it and accept the lesson I may or may not have needed.  They've learned the proper way the hard way, and they're intent on helping you avoid a learning curve. 

He was a busy guy, couldn't promise when he'd get to it, didn't like to take these jobs too often, don't call me, I'll call you, might be two weeks.  I related a little of my story and he realized two weeks wasn't a big deal, that I wasn't in a rush, that he was in charge of his world.  Then I asked him about the BMW R/75 from the early 80s out front.  "I bought that one brand new," he beamed of his bimmer, and then proceeded to confess that he's currently got seven different ones, all of which he's bought brand new.  So we talked for fifteen minutes about motorcycles and long rides and Audis and what-not.  It's interesting who you meet along the way.  I shook his hand and thanked him for attempting the job.  He couldn't promise success, but he'd try.

I got a call the next morning.  Come get 'em.  I commented that the two weeks had gone by in a flash and he offered to call me in two weeks if that's what I preferred.  Maine.  They were sons-of-bitches to get out, but they were done. Showed me where he'd cleaned some things off, where he'd used his air hammer, how much heat he'd needed- my propane wouldn't have been enough, no.  Score the hole with a drill a little - not too  much- and it'll give the anti-seize a place to dig in and last.  Use anti-seize on everything, you're in Maine now.  Yes, sir.

Another adventure in car repair.

You get the picture.  When I'm done (and I think I'm about 60% of the way there), this thing will have a whole new front end: All control arms and bushings, new struts and associated bushings and bellows, new steering rack and tie-rods, new exhaust from the manifold back.  Except one thing leads to another.  Did I mention that the brakes have always sucked?  New performance pads all around, turned rotors (if I can find anyone to do them.  These were relatively new rotors anyway, only a few thousand miles on them), as it turns out new brake hoses (I'll go with stainless steel braided like some kid in his twenties), and possibly new calipers.  You know what?  Heck. I'm getting new calipers too.

And after all that, a windshield, an alignment, a sticker, and... I'm not letting the kids touch it.